My secret muchness

Alice: Sometimes I believe in as many as six impossible things before breakfast.
Mad Hatter: That is an excellent practice.

What is, exactly, the difference between my life in dreams and my life in life? My dream memories feel the same, so clear – the sounds, the taste, the breeze, the touch – how did my dream memories differ from the memories of the experiences I had when I was wake?

Alice: This is impossible.
Mad Hatter: Only if you believe it is.

I used to enjoy having impossible dreams because that gave me the feeling that I had lived something magical, that a great experience happened to me for a brief moment, and no one else knew it.

Anyone can go by horse or rail, but the absolute best way to travel is by hat.
– The Mad Hatter

So there I was, this ordinary random girl on the bus, that was secretly able to kiss the very-good-looking-guy-from-the-films. Who had been mysteriously at the mountains of Subrubaland, after riding on the back of a purple horse.

And that made me secretly special.

Alice: You’re you again!
Mad Hatter: Well, if I’m not, I wish I was. Have we meet?

It was different than lucid dreaming. I’ve lived things that I did not choose, it was completely out of control.

You’re not the same as you were before You were much more…”muchier” You’ve lost your “muchness”
– The Mad Hatter

 

But every new story made me someone different. As if they were making me someone special. My Muchness that I do not want to lose.

 

 

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